By living with these thoughts in mind, I’ve uncovered some aspects of leading a simple life that individuals living lavish lifestyles will never understand because they can’t fathom simple truth.  The reliance on basic resources gives one the time to reflect on their situation and actively work to improve their lives if necessary.  It occurred to me that before I understood what living with the newest technology and clothes meant for my parents I took a lot of things for granted and was more expectant of these items.  Ironically enough, I was no where near as prospective, spiritual, or conscious as I am currently; therefore, I can’t help but acknowledge the odd correlation.  Through living simply and in an intentional community these types of truths have become abundantly more apparent to me.  I hope to have my eyes opened even wider as the year continues because with each humbling experience I see myself moving closer and closer to the grace of God.

Brandon Stuart, EUIP Intern, 2011-12

Working at eCALS Highschool

In the shadow of the work I am doing with Housing Long Beach I have a new appreciation for doing work that is not always seen in the best light by all people. I know I’m a bit late for this post but I have been thinking more about Martin Luther King Jr. this year than I have ever before. MLK had to face people unwilling to change with courage and most importantly boldness. It’s true that some people don’t want change at all, but a lot more people don’t want change that feels uncomfortable. I have heard more times than I wish that Housing Long Beach needs to ask for what they want in a better way. In a lighter, more gentler, more “kumbaya”way, which is all well and good until…it doesn’t work. Of course you take the path of least resistance but what happens when that doesn’t work, you what?, stop trying?! When people don’t want to work with you, when you don’t get what you know you need as a community, is it then that you politely shut up and go back to the place of injustice you just left? For me, on lots of days, that’s where I find myself. Tucking my tail between my legs and subconsciously apologizing for even suggesting such an idea. I find myself cringing at the thought of speaking up because these are church people, these are professionals, these are intelligent and thoughtful people, and if they are waving the white flag and saying we have gone too far then how can I disagree with them on that?

This is the time my boldness fails me. And this is the time I find myself looking to people in history and to community members around me who constantly push back and no longer politely ask for what they want but demand something that should have already been given to them. MLK demanded racial equality when it was unheard of to do so. Even people who believed in equality were asking him to wait and be patient, but to do so would have been wrong.

As he puts it….

“I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”

This is my year to learn boldness. Even if I never work another day of community organizing ever again I pray that my view social justice is forever contextualized within this frame. Fighting for social justice doesn’t always feel good and it might not be the popular opinion but it doesn’t make it less right. And it certainly doesn’t make those who demand it bad or impatient either, they are just bolder and, in my opinion, braver than the rest.

Allison Bost, Episcopal Urban Intern, 2011-12

Housing Long Beach

But maybe I’m over-thinking this. I think that discovering and exploring our vocation at any point in our lives is about knowing and not knowing all at once. I know who I am and what I love doing and what I think I want to do. I know there are certain things I want to cultivate in my life, some that I want to do in the next few months and years and some I want to do later. Some of these things I am able to create on my own with intention. I can be intentional about getting out of the city and hiking or camping twice a month while I’m still in Los Angeles. I can make sure that I have the discipline to keep working on my book for the next few months. There are other things that I can’t control. I would love to get another job in Los Angeles and stay here. I can’t exactly begin to start looking for jobs today when I’m not available until mid-August. But I feel like I should be trying. I feel like I should be thinking hard about exactly what I want to do and working to make that happen next year, just like I was last spring. It worked out for me really well when I did it that way – I mean, I ended up here, with an amazing job living with three amazing women.

A phrase from my teenage years comes to mind: “Let go and let God” (or who/whatever you believe in.) I think that on the one hand a person like me, who knows what she loves doing and has an idea of how she could continue to do that, needs to put energy and intention into making the life that she wants to live happen around her. Nothing will come forth if you do not put energy into it. As a writer I know a lot about the creative process and have explored mine. Part of being creative is knowing how to utilize your own energy into making things happen for yourself. You need to know how to actually sit down and do the work. But once you sit down and have begun to work, you also have to let go of what you think you want to create and enjoy the process of creation. You need to allow the question at the end to remain unanswered until it organically answers itself. Trust – in yourself, in Divinity, in Jesus, in whatever you choose to trust – and creativity go hand in hand. Prayer or mediation or running or creating art is an important part of letting go in my life right now, in knowing what I love and find joy in and then doing those things so that I can open as many doors as possible, trusting all along that they will lead me to the right place at the end of the summer. In the end, it’s always worked out for me before.

Katy Cashman, Episcopal Urban Intern, 2011-12

Friends in Deed, Ecumenical Council of Pasadena Area Churches

Listing all these things as what makes 2011 great seems kinda weird right? It seems like a train wreck of a year, huh? Even though I have been stressed, angry, sick and plagued with fear at times, this has been a great year. I graduated college, moved to Los Angeles where I have met tons of great people, been placed in a job that I love and found people who are supporting me through all the rest. This year I have fallen in love with life more than I ever thought possible.

With every challenge comes a piece of joy is the lesson that has been reinforced for me this past year. The things that I thought would be challenged by have not been nearly as hard as I expected; and things I never thought would happen, like ending up in the hospital not knowing what was wrong, have been tougher.

Despite the challenges of this year, each of these experiences has helped me to grow in ways I never thought possible and I thank God for them. We must all remember that each time something bad happens we must look for the good in it. When we do this growth is possible.  Love is possible.

Sally Kiss, Episcopal Urban Intern, 2011-12

Neighborhood Youth Association

While I was eating an inordinate amount of food this past Thursday, I realized that even though I was celebrating this holiday away from my family for the first time I was still surrounded by people who cared for and supported me. Suzanne, Jaime, Ranjit, my fellow interns, and especially my housemates are the amazing people who are my community and fellow travelers in this year long journey.
Not everything in the past three months has gone as I thought it would, which is kind of par for the course in terms of jumping into an entirely new situation. However, I have come to realize that whether it is during my weekly campus ministry service at UCLA, around the table during our weekly house meal, or at Thanksgiving, the simple act of coming together for a shared meal is one of the most powerful forms of renewal and reaffirmation of faith in my life.

Holly Borroff

UCLA Campus Ministry and St. Philip’s Episcopal Church

“No Casey, don’t think, just do.” A friend told me this and I looked at him like he was crazy, how could I not think? My brain is always analyzing, always trying to figure out the best course of action, the next step, how to manage my health, what I should say, what I shouldn’t say; it’s endless. But I love thinking, it allows me to sort out my problems and understand why I feel the way I feel; analyzing every day has brought me a long way. I’m realizing however that there can be a downfall to this type of thought; it often leads to the land of worry, stress, and inaction. Getting so caught up in thoughts causes loss of focus, when you search for every angle, you always find where you could fail. This can lead directly to feelings of inadequacy, uncertainty and periods of depression; none of which is helpful to success in the “real world”.

I’m understanding that to truly become an adult I must learn to trust myself and my instincts. I believe I know what’s best for myself and my future, and now is the time to put all this thought into action. Transitioning to a “real job” has brought many unforeseen challenges but the more I focus on the present moment and what I must do, instead of worrying about what I’ll have to accomplish later, I’m seeing just how much I can accomplish. We all worry that we’re not following the right path or that we could be doing more, but the reality is that the most we can expect from ourselves is doing our best, whatever that may be, in each moment we experience. With growth comes responsibilities and handling these responsibilities can be tedious and overwhelming, but ultimately supremely rewarding. When you can handle the pressures of life, when you accomplish the seemingly impossible tasks, the reward that is bestowed upon you is magnificent. Getting to that point, where you truly believe, that for yourself anything is possible, is a long road, but trusting that you know how to live your own life the best way you know how is the best compliment to a good and fulfilled life. No one can know how to do everything, but we can all learn how to be our best self.

Casey Robinson

Episcopal Urban Intern – St. Joseph’s Center

I first screamed and one of my roommates ran into my room to see what was wrong. After a few minutes of freaking out, the first person I called was Suzanne. She called the mattress company from which we had received our beds (they were new when we moved in). She also worked with the landlord to have the apartment inspected and then fumigated. When the first fumigation did not really help, we were able to get a second fumigation and my roommates and I spent an entire day drying all of our clothes, sheets, and towels. Now I am happy to say that I have been bite free for almost two weeks!

Through all of this craziness, it is amazing to have the support of everyone around me.

After I graduated college, I knew I wanted to move away from the South for a while, but I was nervous about going to a city where I had no or few connections. When I made the decision to move to Los Angeles for the Episcopal Urban Intern Program, I was comforted by the fact that I would have roommates who were part of the program and support from the Jubilee Consortium and my work site. After going through this crazy bed bugs experience, I am so glad to have the support of roommates, coworkers, and a program who cares about me. And I have felt this support in more ways than this. I have felt it when leaders in the program and members of my church have checked in with me to make sure I am staying healthy spiritually and mentally. I have felt it when a fellow intern came to pick me up when my car broke down. I have felt it when my principal and coworkers provide me with opportunities to do meaningful and challenging work. I feel it when my students encourage me or seek me out for advice.

Overall, I think I can handle whatever happens this year because of the support I have from the people here and back home.

Sarah Rogers

Glendale House

Triumph Charter Academy

It turns out that an eight-hour work day can be exhausting, especially if you’re working with children for the majority of it.  Also, living in LA means a long commute to work not to mention having to do it on a bicycle.  By the time I’m done with work and working out at the gym, I seem to have just enough energy to take a shower and go to bed.  The laundry, bills, and phone calls home would have to be postponed until the weekend.   Well, I soon learned that this schedule was not an improvement from college.  Homework was replaced with chores, bills, and all these other adult responsibilities. It seemed that every day my to-do list was getting longer while my free time was getting shorter. I seemed to have trouble recharging while the days continued to flash by.

After the recent retreat to Santa Barbara, I came back refreshed and energized to begin again. Time had slowed down for those three days, and I finally could reconnect with nature and myself through thoughtful meditation. The retreat allowed me to come back to work with more patience and understanding as I worked with the kids.  I was able to place everything into perspective so I could better understand my priorities. I realized that I needed to be more intentional about the way I spent my little down time by doing things that would recharge me both spiritually and physically.  I needed to break my routine more often and make more time for spiritual formation. Finding the time for the sacred still remains a challenge, but I have found that sticking to a more disciplined routine such as Morning Prayer has given me just the little reflection time I need to come to work ready for the day ahead.

Joey Courtney

Assistant to Children’s and Youth Programming

Salvation Army Alegria

Luckily, all the down time and unofficial conversation proved to be very valuable when I did I very first intake as case manager, or rather Youth Advocate, my new title. The conversation was relaxed and comfortable. My “client” and I were already very familiar with each other which allowed her to be very candid and share some very personal information. In that one meeting, I felt the purpose for my being here. Being able to be that person the youth turn to in times of need will a very fulfilling experience for me. It took a while but I finally am able to see my place here and the impact I can have.

As for my plans and expectations for this year and after, all of that has gone by the way side. This experience has made me question my career and education goals and introduced me to a field I didn’t know I would enjoy working in. I am at a point where I have no idea what I want to do and where this year will take me. Surprisingly, this does not scare me in the least. I’ve learned to take things day by day, to pace myself, and slowly I’m learning not to worry about things out of my control. That, however, might be the hardest lesson I will learn this year. Thinking too far ahead, over planning, and stressing about the future always have been my greatest personal flaws. The phrase “Be Here Now” is slowly becoming my mantra and living in the moment is something I will have to work on every day. I am getting better at it every day and I have great faith I will be able to fully grasp this practice in time. It will be the greatest thing I do for myself this year.

Valerie Lamour

Youth Advocate, LA Gay and Lesbian Center

Aside from those classes that I have be doing, I recently began working with a sixth grade student with autism as well. I have been working with him about three classes per day. Last year, he was in a special day class, and this is the first time that he has ever been in general education classes. He didn’t know what it was like to sit in a classroom and take notes or what it was like to take a test. Before I started working with him, he would just sit in class and draw Larry Boy and Bob the Tomato. However, I was going to make sure that was going to quickly change; he thought otherwise. As I worked with him the first week, he quickly grew frustrated with me. I was making him do something that he had never done before, and maybe didn’t even have the preparation to do. How could I expect so much from him when he had no experience in a setting like this before?

The first few days, he would get frustrated, saying things like “Ay carumba!” or “Ah, coconuts!” when I would make him put his markers away or make him write a sentence. When I was working with him, he frequently told me that I was bothering him. Once, he completely turned his chair away from me and tried his best to ignore me. He would become so frustrated with me that I kept pushing him so much, once even to the point of tears. But then there was a breakthrough. He is starting to get the hang of it. Today, he took notes in pace with the rest of the class and even wrote sentences on his own. He no longer gives up so easy when he gets a math problem wrong. He never even attempts to draw in class anymore. And I haven’t heard him say that I am bothering him. There had been a difficult learning curve that he had to overcome, but he did it. And while he is still far behind the class and, honestly, may not catch up to his class, I believe that he has overcome the biggest hurdle.

This is not unlike my situation with my sixth grade class. I had no previous experience like this and did not have the preparation that I needed. I easily grew frustrated and impatient with the class, but I had a breakthrough. I am beginning to have better class management skills and am gaining rapport with the students. There was a difficult learning curve that I needed to overcome, but I did it. And while I still have so much to learn about teaching and class management, I think that I, like my student, have overcome the biggest hurdle.

Christy Goulet

Excel Charter Academy